


In the middle of the fall

by Blueseason



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Sex, deviation of canon, toma's route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23213857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueseason/pseuds/Blueseason
Summary: Her memories were fussy but there was a thing that she will always know, everyone is lying. Love was not as sweet as it smells and hope was just a chain that make you stay. So when this green-haired appears while she runs away, why does she go with him?Because she can
Relationships: Heroine/Ukyo (Amnesia)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	In the middle of the fall

**Author's Note:**

> If you really like Toma better skip this one

I sleep everyday more and more, my only company most of the time were Orion a spirit that looks a lot like a child, he hovers around me, watch and talks to me, and even if Toma was there the most real thing about this was talking to the spirit, he was sweet and little bit annoying yet still good nature after all. But even he will end up hurting me if I don't get my memories... but do you want you memories back?

That was something that I keep asking myself every moment that I was awake, and scrapes through my brain when Toma is there, and he is always there. Do I love him? I suppose that my past self does by the brief memories that I was given, but there was always an uncertainty. Does she love the real him (that men that lies as much as he breathes and only can love through possession) or was she in love of the idea of him (the chill, supportive and protective guy that he wears as a mask)?

I don't know, my memories are like the recollection of a past life already dead, so I just go to sleep hoping to not wake up.

I wake up, it was him again, the one that didn't want to see. He told me that I just needed to wait, that I will be free and he would go away; but that sounded more like a fairy tale that of something that might actually happen, we both know that he was lying but I let him because it was a pretty lie, much better than the cage that surrounded me everyday. It was nice to think that everything would go back the way it was before even if all the memories come back, that I would go to uni or to my job, that my biggest concern will be what boy should I date or a gossip that I heard from one of my friends... that I will be able to sleep tight and without worries looking forward to tomorrow. Yeah it was fucking nice, so I let him tell me about his lies, they sure were sweet.

Orion and I had find a way to get of here, he insists that my priority must be recover my memories but if I am honest I don't really get it, would it really change something if suddenly I remember my life before this?, will it give it some perspective?, would it make it least painful?, more logical?, would everything be alright when I get them?

Do I want them?

There was a chance so I get up and grab my phone, my heart was beating as fast as race car when he decided to call yet I was faster and turn it off. But I carry something else besides my phone and that was the diary, even so I couldn't bring myself to read it, what if after learning what was I change to something that he wants, is that is inevitable? if I had my memories would I stay here forever?

We will trying get out tomorrow and while I was watching him sleep I could only think of one thing, I cannot love you.

He goes away for sometime, we break out. It was weird standing up, walking without feeling watch, the silence was killing me and when I was out of his house I only wanted to scream as loud as could, but I didn't. I couldn't see Orion, and his voice was getting quieter and quieter until it became just a whisper and then nothing. Was that spirit real? or I was just that alone in that place? what was I doing before I was in Toma's house? was I mad?

Even if my only companion was gone I couldn't be in that place so I run to the street, that is when I saw that guy, he seem so familiar but so strange at the same time, I came to ask myself (not for the first time) if he was someone of that past life. Then I remember that it is true that I already saw him, two time I think, to ''warn me'' in a way that sounded more like a thread about Toma and my death. ''You will definitely die'' he had say.

Will something had changed if I had listened and stay away from Toma?, does he know that Toma was just a beast wearing a mask of a man?

Toma loves through possession, I know that if he founds me I would never come back, I will always be his doll and he would do with me whatever he desires, I would be a death person cage in a living body. He will kiss me, he would touch me, and do a lot more things not matter what he says now, and he would put a mask of sadness while being proud of being the only one who had take it this things from me. It cannot happen.

So when the strange men offers me to go, I follow. We end up in some kinda of forest when a water well is, he started to talk about something but before that I kiss him. He stays still for a moment before responding he is rude and passionate, his hands travel through my skin and though my clothes. He bites my lips and then goes for my neck and I guide him to the forest and lay here with my legs open. He comes down and tries to tell me something but I talk first.

''I am sorry''

Toma will never find me alive, he would never have anything more of me, I make sure of it. I sign my destiny with that kiss.

There was a lot of mixing emotion going through the face of the men above me, it was like a reflection of the conflicts that I had since I lost my memories, his hurt was in my hurt, and made me ask myself if I had know this man before, he seem so familiar but so strange like a fond memory buried in others. 

The electric feeling that he had give me while he was touching me down was a sensation that I welcomed with my both arms. I kiss him harder trying to forget for at least a moment, biting his lips mixing to tongues and sharing the same breath, it was new and overwhelming. He touched with such desperation and desire that I had not yet see, like I was something that he shouldn't have but couldn't help wanted it. I liked it.

The feeling of coming was like your whole body tenses and then in a flash released it all in a bam. I touch his cheek before and ask him his name, he say that it was Ukyo and that was the only thing in my mind, it was nice not thinking that much.

I take all the rest of my clothes and he did it as well, the weather was cold and I feel shivers through my body. It hurt a little by when it enter, but not as much as I though it would, the chilling feeling became an unsaciable heat that will not stop. More, more, more, it was the only thing in my head while he whisper my name in my ear and I whisper his. He finish after me and gives me again a kiss, but it was soft almost apologetic this time, his expression was pure sadness. I smile and get up despite the heavy fatigue that have installed in me. Why did I do that? because I can, because there is no one to tell me what to do, what to love, what to like, how to act, I have the freedom to do it and he will hated it, and that is why I love it. A little drink of it before I die was always welcome.

''Let me change before you do it''

I put my clothes on and I comeback to being the girl with broken memories and dreams. We go to the water well and he comes back to be the scary guy that I met before. I will die today, this will be soon a past life that I don't remember when I see Orion again, but when I look at his mint eyes I am not sure if I would be able to forget him that easily.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to give the heroine of Amnesia more of a character but it appears that I can only do angst so here it is. I am very bad at smut and sex stuff as you can see I apologize for that.


End file.
